This month I will be speaking at "BLAST". BLAST stands for Business, Leadership, And Superior Training. The program is hosted by the National Association of Blind Merchants which is a division of the National Federation of the Blind. Their President is Kevan Worley and is one those great business success stories, he just happens to be blind. You see, blind persons can do anything sighted people can do, they just do it differently. I am so looking forward to speaking to this energetic and dynamic group of business people.
 

 Road Improvements  

 
“Lick of the Ice Cream Cone”
By Mark Matteson

One of the great things about Baskin & Robbins is they will give you a Lick of the Ice Cream Cone in the form of a tiny cup and spoon. It’s a great way to try something out before you buy.

This last month I have been writing a new e-book. It’s entitled “100 Stories To Make You Laugh, Cry and Think.” This month’s e-zine is a Lick of That Ice Cream Cone.

Is it Time to Learn a New Language?
A group of Contractors from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won $100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others. He took a later flight home, arriving back about 3:00 am. He immediately went out to the back yard and dug a hole, and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading away from the hole to the next door neighbor, which was owned by a man that only spoke Japanese. On the same street lived a college professor that taught Japanese Studies at the University of Chicago. The professor was kind enough to offer to interpret. “You tell that guy if he doesn’t give me back my money, I am going to whack him!” The professor calmly conveyed the message to the Japanese neighbor. Bowing and apologizing, he said in Japanese to the professor, “I buried it in my backyard under the blossoming cherry tree. The professor turned to the Contractor with the gun in his hand and said, “He is not going to tell you. He said he’d rather die first!”

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Groucho Marx said…
• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
• Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
• Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
• From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
• I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.
• I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
• I sent the club a wire stating, Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
• I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
• I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
• I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it!

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Didja Know?
• Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of a blend of cotton and linen.
• A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
• 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
• "Ough" can be pronounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully.
• 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
• An old law in Bellingham, Wash., made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
• The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.
• Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
• Most lipstick contains fish scales.
• Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
• Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time. (hence, multi-tasking was invented.)
• Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of plaster. Later after the war the recipients were able to trade in their plaster statuettes for gold-plated ones.
• A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

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Who is Packing Your Parachute?

Charles Plum, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, was a jet fighter pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years in a Communist prison. He survived that terrible ordeal. Now he lectures about lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You were shot down.” Taken aback, he replied, “How in the world did you know that?” “I packed your parachute.”

Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, “I guess it worked.”

Plumb assured him, “It sure did—if your chute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Plumb couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about that man. “I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform; Dixie cup hat, a bib in the back, bell bottom trousers. I wondered how many times I must have passed him on the Kitty Hawk. I wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said, ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.

Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands the fate of someone he didn’t know.

Now Plumb asks his audience, “Who is packing your parachute?” Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. We all have parachutes. Spiritual parachutes, Mental parachutes, Emotional parachutes, Physical parachutes, Financial parachutes.

Recognize and be gracious to the people who pack your parachute. You just never know when you will need it to open.

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Tonight I am off to watch the Final Four in Indianapolis to cheer on the UCLA Bruins. (Thanks David Indursky for the floor level seats!) I sure feel like some Ice Cream. I wonder if they have a Baskin and Robbins in the RCA Dome. I think I will try the Strawberry flavor.

 

 So that's where that came from!

"Close but no cigar"
If you come close to achieving success but reach a disappointment due to failure you are 'close but no cigar'. Many years ago slot machines gave out cigars as prizes. Also, early carnival games also gave out cigars as prizes.

I wonder if they gave out Trinidad Robusto's?  So just keep trying....
 

 One for the road

This months best read by Steve Chandler. 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself.

You'll find them all here: click here

 

  Watch "The Road" Buddy!

Matteson Avenue has a new site search tool on the Site Map page to help you better find resources.

Launch new goals this year

Listen to the Girl Scout Cookie Story this month.

Laugh more this year.

Learn more this year by reading a book a month on the Reading List

Leave a legacy this year - Freedom From Fear Forever has a great message!

 

 The Boulevard

PLANNING ON KEEPING YOUR GOALS THIS YEAR? According to Purdue University, and most experts, it’s not only important to have written goals, but you must have a plan to reach your goals.

Goals 2006 is the complete program to help you "create a life on purpose." Will 2006 be just another ho-hum year that started with good intentions? Or will it be YOUR Year! Your year to lose that weight you're tired of carrying...start that business you've been talking about...get out of debt for good. Are you tired of being stuck in the same gear?

Go see why one program graduate, Lucy O. said, "Breaking through, or at least finally recognizing, what my barrier is with writing goals, is a MAJOR accomplishment - one I've been trying to find for over 15 years! And I finally got it - I GOT IT!" Click Here

 The Wire's Conduit

This months Wire tip is all about email etiquette. I did talk about this before but let beat the drum one more time. Etiquette is knowing which which fork to use first (it's the little one), but I'm talking about making it easier for your recipient to read and understand what you are trying to say.

Let's start with the subject line. This is even more important these days with sp*m and sp*m filters running amuck. Try to be descriptive as possible without using sp*m trigger words like "sale", "stop", "rates", "money", "no", "dear" and "cash". (Google "sp*m trigger words" for more)Yes some of these are obvious but some not so. Leaving the subject line blank is like asking to get filtered out.

Forwarding emails are a pet peeve of mine. Someone wants to forward me a really funny email but it's buried three deep in other peoples forwards. AOL email does all the time but nobody takes the time to just forward just the content.
Oh and unless you want to share all your buddies email addresses with the world (and spammers) delete the header information of the last email. You may want to use BCC to send those mass emails to the manys. That way they don't see everyone else's email address.
Oh and while I'm at it, don't add (or leave in) all those little >>>> to the forwarded email (those really bug me).

Use spell check (nuf said).

Use white space. If you must be wordy, try to break it up with white space.

Last but not least: Use an email signature. Someone may actually want to call or snail mail you something.

 

Questions? email Kevin at kevin@mattesonavenue.com Have a web site? Need a web site? Need an update? Need an E-zine? Ask about our package plans. Ask about my fr*ee analysis for your site.

 

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