New next Open Seminar of "Freedom From Fear" will be at DiscoverU in Northgate (just north of Seattle) soooooooo mark your calendars for September 1st!
 

Yes - Mark's newest book is still at the printers! We expect it any day now.  Freedom From Fear Forever has a great Father/Son theme so stay tuned! Here's what one friend had to say:

“This book shows you how to release your brakes and unleashes your positive energies for success, happiness and high achievement.”

Brian Tracy - Author – CREATE YOUR OWN FUTURE
 

  Watch "The Road" Buddy!

Have you been to Matteson Avenue lately? Much has changed. Here are some of the updated places to visit:

100 Best Fiction books have been added!

One hundred or so pages in the E-Zine Street Archive!

Not quite 100 articles in "Gratis".

Not even half a hundred sites on the Links page.

There must a least hundred reasons to visit our sponsor "Contractor Magazine"

 

 Road Improvements  

"Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You'll be Fine"

It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand.
The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, “Yes, you have a question.” Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing… “You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff…then what?” I could feel the other Dad’s nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. “That’s a great question,” pausing for effect, she continued, “That little baby doesn’t know you don’t know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine.” It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received.

When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6’-4” and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School.

He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians.

By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team.

His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed."

After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show."

I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul.

My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer’s, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on “What’s New!!!” tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty")

I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it’s the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief.

I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad.

Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine.



Dad and Colin, June 2005

 

 One for the road

This months must read "One for the Road" book is "Influence" by Robert Cialdini - 1998 Perennial Currents - 336 page

Over 250,000 copies sold, this book explains why some people are remarkably persuasive and how you can beat them at their own game. You will learn the six psychological secrets behind our powerful impulse to comply, how skilled persuaders use them without detection, how to defend yourself against them, how to put those secrets to work on your behalf.
This book guarantees two things:
1. You will never say "Yes" when you mean "No".
2. You will make yourself more influential than ever.


 

 The Boulevard

This months featured web site is awesome if you are in the market for an e-zine. If you're not, you should be!

Ali is the E-zine Queen! She's the babe that will help you boost business, the chick with the cheap and easy method, the doll that has the details. OK so she didn't say that but she's really smart so I don't think she'll mind.

She has helped us and she can help you too. Oh and she hangs out with smart people so you get the benefit of "been there done that".

 

 The Wire's Conduit

My partner Kevin Thomas (The Wire) just couldn't help himself. He wants to share. Each month he'll lend a little insight. Some times it's a great software tool, sometimes it's a hardware tip.

This month it's a "Frêe" software utility. It's called SpyBot - Search & Destroy. If you use the internet and your computer gets slower and slower then you probably have spyware on it. Spyware are tracking programs that report information on your web travels back to unscrupulous sites. They may even display pop-ups. The problem is they don't ask permission, they just install and you can have many, many installed. I've seen as many as 350 separate spyware programs on a single machine. At some point it renders the computer unusable. SpyBot has an Immunize feature that will keep the spyware guys at bay. Upgrades are frêe but you have to check periodically to get those updates.

This is one of those programs I just can't live without. I rate it up there with my virus software as far as mandatory installs.

Spybot has many knockoff sites that pretend to be Spybot, but they'll usually charge a fee upfront. SpyBot is frêe but you can donate and I suggest you do if you end up using it.

I rate this a 10 on the value scale (1-10 - 10 being best)
I rate this a 3 on the complexity scale ( 1-10 - 10 being hardest)

Questions? email Kevin at kevin@mattesonavenue.com

 

 End Construction  

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