It was a simple wedding. Len was
had just turned 21, his bride to be, 19. She was radiant. Her long auburn
hair fell gently around her flowing white wedding gown. Everyone said they
were too young. Len and Cheryl knew differently. It was fate. They were
meant to be together. They knew it from that first meeting.
They met in High School. Len was working for the school newspaper. He was
assigned a project that required he interview students with a tape recorder.
It was an old cassette recorder he had borrowed from his father. She had
looked longingly into his eyes as he asked the questions.
Love is a magic carpet ride, a dream, a long slow ride in the tunnel of love
at the fair. The first cut is always the deepest. Len was smitten, head over
heels in love. It’s a drug really. Most of us forget over time how
overwhelming those first feelings of true love are.
Nothing is more powerful than Love. It is the strongest emotion a man ever
knows. It unleashes creativity, creates drive and energy where none existed
before. Len had dated other girls but nothing could have prepared him for
how she made him feel.
She gave him a reason to succeed. Pleasing her was his highest ambition, his
only goal. It is how God meant things to be. After four years of dating, Len
knew. It was right. He was ready. Len had taken a job selling projects for
an Air Conditioning Company. He showed up early and stayed late. He had big
dreams. One day he would own the company. He had a 10-year plan. Salesman,
Sales Manager, General Manager, Owner. The Service Business, that was the
way of the future. He kept his dreams to himself.
The day of the wedding, Len’s father took him to breakfast. As they finished
their scrambled eggs and toast, his father slid a beautiful binder across
the table. It was a leather bound book. Len looked surprised.
“Len,” his father said in a warm tone, “This little book I created for you
represents the things I feel are most important for you to remember as you
start this new life. I hope you take the lessons to heart. They represent a
lifetime of ideas, mistakes, lessons I have learned. My hope is you read
them over and over again, make them your own. Then, as you experience new
ideas, insights, lessons, add to this organic document for you son or
daughter. Only then will you appreciate this journey called life.”
The brown leather was impressive, the binding cracked as he opened it.
Lessons of Life
Work hard, play harder.
You will never become wealthy working for someone else. This country was
made great by the risk takers, the small business man.
The rich buy assets. The poor only have expenses. The middle class buy
liabilities and think they are assets.
Wealth is a person’s ability to survive so many numbers of days forward. If
I stopped working today, how long could I survive?
Choose Wealth every day. It beats poverty.
It doesn’t take any extra effort to be nice; in fact, it’s easier.
It takes a conscious decision every day to be kind, helpful, gracious,
accepting, patient, and caring. It takes a decision and action every day.
Every person has a story to tell. Your job is to listen until you get to
hear it. When you dominate the listening, you will be welcome anywhere.
Most people can live for two full weeks on good a compliment.
Say something nice behind someone’s back every day…it will get back to them.
No one likes to be “should” on. Regardless how immature or selfish their
behavior might be, avoid offering free advice. It’s neither free nor
welcome.
If you want to influence others, try:
1. BEING the person you want them to be
2. Model the behavior you talk about
3. Tell stories about times you screwed up and what you learned
4. Borrow other people’s stories to serve as warnings or examples
5. Praise the slightest progress in others
6. Affirm that they will do great things with sincerity and conviction,
touching them on the shoulder while smiling.
Always get a shoeshine if you have time. Few things will make you feel
better about yourself than that two dollar investment.
If someone provides great service, do two things,
1. Leave a nice tip
2. Call their boss over and praise him or her
Update your goals every year on paper, preferably on your birthday.
Write an old coach or teacher a note of thanks. Let them know they made a
difference in your life.
Show up early and stay late in all your endeavors. It’s never crowded on the
extra mile.
Do what you love and forget what other people think. Find your bliss and
follow it. Give yourself at least seven years to turn the corner.
Stay in touch with siblings even if they don’t return the effort.
Say to your kids, “I am so proud of you. I love you so much.” And hug them
every day.
Treat everyone you care about as if it’s the last time you will ever see
them.
Read and write something every day, specifically in your journal.
Stretch your comfort zones every day, something simple like eating left
handed or driving a different way home or letting the waiter order your meal
for you in a nice restaurant. If you can’t change the little things, the big
changes will be very difficult.
The quality of your relationships with others will match the quality of your
life. Getting along with people is an art to be mastered for a lifetime.
People who need love the most appear to deserve it the least.
Call your mother once a week and tell her you love her. No matter how old
you get, she still needs to know you are okay.
The older I get the less I care about defending my position. I would rather
be happy than right.
Most people are thirsty for appreciation, respect and understanding. Make
certain you are the guy carrying the water from the well. They will remember
you always.
Forget being a go-getter. Strive to be a Go-Giver instead.
Under-Promise and Over-Deliver. Get in the habit of surprising people with
more value by managing the customer’s expectations.
People don’t care how much I know until they know how much I care.
Other people will forget what you say and maybe even forget what you do;
however, they will always remember how you made them feel.
Plan your day on paper every day, even weekends. Simply write down the six
most important things you need to do today. It is true, time is money.
Read to your children from classic literature from age five until fifteen or
until they tell you they don’t want you to anymore.
Forget getting even with someone or defending your position with someone who
lacks social graces. It’s a waste of time. Just pray for them instead.
Always say YES to a request from a little old lady. Hey, she is someone’s
mom.
Buy the best clothes you can afford, always.
Take the time to shower, shave and look nice before you go out of the house.
People WILL judge you in the first five seconds whether you believe it or
not.
Ask the question, “How did you get started in your business?” to everyone
you meet, and dominate the listening. Everyone loves to talk about
themselves. Everyone has a story.
Ask a successful person what their favorite book is. After you hear the
title from more than one person, go buy it and read it!
Three or four times a year, read a book that is not in the genre you like or
are comfortable. If you only read fiction, read a good biography.
Read the New York Times Sunday Edition at least once a month. Invest a lazy
Sunday morning and get through most of it. It doesn’t get much better than
that.
Give up your seat on a bus, train or plane to a Mom with a child or an older
lady. Do it for how it will make you feel.
Follow hunches; write them down in your journal. You just never know.
When you talk to kids, kneel down to their eye level and smile. Say yes to a
game of Tic-tack- toe or Hangman. Lose and watch their reaction.
Reward the positive, kind or selfless behavior in others with a compliment
at every turn.
Write people “Thank You” notes as soon as possible. It’s best the same day.
If you don’t, the inspiration will leave as fast as snow in Seattle.
Go visit complete strangers in a Nursing Home or homeless shelter. Feed them
and listen. Do it for how it will make you feel.
Make or buy dinner for a friend that has just suffered a loss or has been
injured. For how it will make you feel.
Buy the best shoes you can afford, never wear the same pair two days in a
row and have them re-soled when they wear down.
Find a good cobbler, barber, druggist, car mechanic and dentist, and be
loyal. Give them all your business and let them know you do.
Just once, get a haircut on the road in a small town barber shop and be
patient. Just listen and watch.
Always buy lemonade from a children’s stand in the summer. Encourage and
support young entrepreneurs whenever possible. Then tell them they are doing
a great job.
Choose a charity and donate 5-10% of your time or money to it on a regular
basis. Choose something close to your heart.
Make friends with the janitor, busboy, baggage handler, shoeshine guy and
cab drivers. They have their thumb on the pulse of society, but no one ever
pays attention to them. Show them the same respect you would the CEO of a
large company.
When you pay your bills or complete an order through the mail or send an
invoice, always personalize it with a note, article or quote. Surprise
people you will never meet.
Develop the habit of forgetting what you do for others and remembering what
they do for you. You’ll be a lot happier when you stop keeping score.
See a small town parade at least once on a warm July evening.
Always offer others a choice of yeses in all you do. We all like choices,
especially if they are in our enlightened self-interest.
Every deal you will ever make is negotiable, especially if you are willing
to walk away or have cash. There is always another deal.
Ask for what you want. Don’t be shy. Unassertive people have skinny kids. Be
bold but kind, persistent but empathic, assertive but courteous.
Get good at understanding why people buy. What are their motives? Everyone
is in sales; the only question is, ‘How good are you at it?’
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Take lots of pictures of your family. Things and people change fast. It’s a
great way to measure change, both positive and negative memories. After all
is said and done, they will mean more to you than anything else you own,
especially after someone you love is gone.
Spend less than you earn. Develop passive income to cover all your expenses.
There is truly no limit to what can be achieved if you don’t care who gets
the credit on your team.
If you don’t choose humility, you might get humiliation.
You’re either getting better or getting worse. There is no neutral in life.
You’re living or dying, growing or rotting on the vine. It’s your choice.
You can’t coast all the time. The road eventually goes uphill.
You can’t change destinations overnight, but you can change direction almost
anytime. That will make all the difference where you end up.
It’s easy to trust God when things are going well. The true test is: Do you
trust him when it’s not?
Your children are flowers. If you neglect the garden, they will grow wild.
Love is spelled TIME in the garden.
When it comes time to take the credit in a team effort, give it away to your
teammates. When it comes time to take the blame, assume it all. That is real
leadership.
When someone says, “Trust me,” don’t!
If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
Say “please and thank you” as you look the person in the eye with the
biggest smile you can muster. Good manners don’t take much extra effort.
If you can’t remember someone’s name, reach out your hand and say, “We’ve
met before, my name is Len”…and then wait.
Learn five great clean jokes, even if they are silly.
Go to work on one defect of your character every year. Read, attend
seminars, find a mentor, and keep a journal. In five years, you won’t
believe how much you have changed!
Act as if and the feelings always follow.
When you think you have met ‘The One,’ spend some time with her mother. It’s
truly the previews of coming attractions.
Think BIG and start small.
Understand how your business makes money. Learn what Gross Margin, Gross
Profit, Net Profit mean. It’s not what you make, it’s what you keep.
Read the Bible every chance you get. Consider setting a goal to read it in a
year.
You are the only book some people will ever read.
Remember people’s names. Teddy Roosevelt memorized all 1000 Roughrider’s
names. It put him in the Whitehouse!
When you know you are wrong, admit it promptly and with sincerity. When you
are right, remain silent.
You will be the same person in five years save for two things, the books you
read and the people you associate with. Choose both wisely and in accordance
with your goals.
Keep your discontents a secret. Nobody cares.
ATTITUDE is more important than the past, than circumstances, than failures,
than successes, than education, than money, than what other people think,
say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. How do you know it’s bad?
Smashing the other fellow’s furniture will never make mine look any better.
If you have no time for prayer and meditation, you will have lots of time
for sickness and trouble.
Act as though I was and I will be.
If you are living the spiritual life, you are entitled to peace of mind and
harmonious progress. Should these things be lacking, it is your duty to set
aside a reasonable time each day for prayer and spiritual reading.
GOD is ready the moment you are.
Peace of mind first and all things will follow on that.
You can have anything in life that you really want, but you must be prepared
to take the responsibilities that go with it.
He can who thinks he can. The reverse is also true.
Criticism of others is the hallmark of failure. Don’t grumble. Change the
condition.
Face the facts candidly, only then you can change them.
Peace of mind is the one thing that matters. There is absolutely nothing
else in the world which is equal in value to it. Nothing else that life can
offer is more important than that and yet it seems to be about the last
thing that many people work for.
You destiny depends entirely upon your own mental conduct. Never forget that
the circumstances of your life tomorrow are molded by your mental conduct of
today.
Be still and know that I am God. Meditate every day.
Don’t be a slave to other people’s opinion. Do what you know is right.
Make up your mind. Do one thing or the other. Stick to your choice.
Never tell people about the fine thing you are about to do. Wait until you
have done it. Talking about your plans before they have actually happened is
the surest way to destroy them.
Under any circumstances, you must keep your own thoughts poised, tolerant,
and kindly. Remember the Golden Rule.
Radiate happiness and you help and inspire everyone you meet. Cultivate
happiness and then you must radiate it, for it cannot be concealed. Misery
can be hidden, but happiness can no more be kept a secret than garlic.
Trying to pray is praying.
Gratitude breeds abundance, cynicism breeds lack.
If someone else blows your horn, it travels twice as far.
Wisdom is loving before we think and thinking before we act.
It takes only 13 facial muscles to smile and 47 to frown. Some people don’t
mind the extra work.
Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. True
forgiveness will heal any wound.
Even a hurricane is temporary.
Success is seldom final, failure is seldom fatal. This too shall pass.
Time is the great healer. No matter what you are going through, things
always do look different in the morning.
None of us ever has to go it alone.
We cut our problems in half when we share the burden with a trusted friend
or family member. Talk it out.
If you have a problem you can’t solve, go around it. If you can’t solve a
problem—accept it.
There is always tomorrow. Things have a way of looking different in the
morning.
Hurry never produced a masterpiece. Patient, deliberate, one-by-one…
If at first you don’t succeed at first…try again. Persistence.
No case is hopeless…patience.
No one ever tripped lying down. Get plenty of rest.
Expect delays. Allow and plan for them.
At first, it’s the effort that counts. Work. Leave the results up to God.
Learn to concentrate on the task at hand. Do what you’re doing.
Remember to ask: ‘How important is this, really?’
We cannot change others. We can change ourselves. I am only responsible for
changing me.
It’s not what happens to me, it’s how I respond.
Let us admit our imperfections so that we might grow toward perfection.
Look for ways to praise…every day.
Make a gratitude list when you are feeling down.
Pay attention to when you are most effective, AM or PM, and then do your
best work then, like reading or planning.
Enthusiasm comes from the Greek word, “Entheo” meaning “God in him.” Hmmm.
We see things as we are.
The price of leadership is loneliness.
Never tell someone you are tired or sick. They don’t want to hear about it.
Keep your goals quiet, show people first.
Do first things first, one thing at a time, and finish what you start.
Avoid criticizing or arguing with strangers.
Pause three to four seconds before you respond in every conversation. Make
it a habit.
After listening to a friend share a win, get excited and say, “That’s a
great feeling,” or “You must be proud.” Learn to echo emotions.
Develop an attitude of expectancy and gratitude. Did you know Optimists live
longer and have a better time along the way?
Write your lifetime goals out and list what you want to be, have, share, do
or see. Shoot for 101 goals.
Make a list of your ten favorite movies and books each year.
Learn to play cribbage and chess.
Think twice, speak once.
On vacation take lots of pictures, have duplicates made write down dates and
people on the back, and give them to people.
Avoid envy, self-pity and resentment. They only make things worse.
Being self employed means a nap in the afternoon.
Mail thank you notes for any reason, anytime someone does something nice for
you.
When you call someone, always ask, “Do you have a moment?” and respond
accordingly.
We never learn anything when we win. Losing, though painful, is a great
teacher and builder of character.
It’s not what happens, but how we respond that matters.
It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.
Tell your children, “No matter what happens, win or lose, I am always:
1. Proud as I can be of you
2. Love you unconditionally.”
Tell your children, "You have accomplished far more than I ever did at 18
and will continue to do so in all your endeavors. Your future is so bright
it burns my eyes to look at it.”
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Without love or a vision we perish. Make certain you always have both.
Your vision of where or who you want to be is your greatest asset. Without a
goal it’s difficult to score.
So how good do you want to be? Good? Very Good? The best in your field? The
best in the world?
In order to be the best, it may mean some people won’t like you. You had
better be prepared for that.
What you learn in school are facts. The kids who get the best grades are
good at organizing and memorizing. Those that really succeed in life have
acquired understanding, imagination, and creativity backed with ambition,
hard work, flexibility and resilience will go farther than the 4.0 students.
Enjoy praise for a little while, but not too long. Keep asking yourself and
others, “What can I improve?” or “What do I need to change to be better?”
Accept full responsibility for anything you or your team engages in.
Personal accountability is a leadership asset few people embrace. Stay away
from blame.
Hoarding ideas or knowledge comes from a place of lack. Sharing ideas or
time comes from a place of abundance. If you give away all you know, it
forces you to replenish and learn. Somehow the more ideas you give away, the
more come back to you.
Never criticize the competition. It’s bad business.
Find out what other people’s goals are. Then think about how you can help
them achieve theirs first.
Most entrepreneurs do their best work (at times, their only work) when they
are broke, out of ideas and their back is against the wall. It’s a wonderful
cauldron of ideas and creativity.
When you run across an opinionated person, say to him or her, “I may be
wrong, I often am, however…” then state your case.
When you get stuck, try doing the opposite. Occasionally it pays to be a
contrarian.
Get good at speaking in public and telling stories that have a point.
Collect them like baseball cards. Someday they will be worth a whole lot
more than your trading card collection.
When one door closes, another opens; I have been fired twice and passed over
for promotion once in my life. All three times it was the best thing that
ever happened to me.
Occasionally send a thank you note on a brown paper sack.
Keep reading more than anyone you know. Make your reading as diverse as your
diet. Italian food is great, but not every night.
Occasionally study something entirely different in a seemingly unrelated
field. Teddy Roosevelt wrote 14 books, all on different subjects. He was the
youngest president, our 26th, at age 42.
Success is going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.
“THE MAN IN THE GLASS”
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you King for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might call you a straight shooting chum,
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass knows you’re only a bum,
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he is with you clear up to the end,
And you have passed your most painful and difficult test,
When the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you have cheated the man in the glass.
Len was overwhelmed. A tear began to well up. This was 55 years of wisdom.
His father had put a great deal of time and effort into this gift.
“Dad,” Len said holding back the tears, “Thank you.”
His father smile, appreciative of the fact it meant something to Len.
“It’s just the foundation. You build a nice house on top of it. Add to it.
Give it to your son or daughter. It’s a legacy, a shade tree.”
They sat silently for five minutes. The coffee was cold. It was time to get
ready for the wedding.